I am going to try my hardest to write this blog entry without tearing up or having to stop b/c I am all out crying with joy!!! It all began April 1st. I was transported from SW Medical, 3 miles down the road, to St Vincent's 28 miles away. Aunt Krista came to our rescue and took care of the boys. Between her and Aunt Audra the boys were taken care of these first scary 24 hours. Within 5 days Beth was here from Laos to take care of the boys and her son. What brought me to hospital was Sohpia's water had broken, 24 weeks gestation. From that we realize Sabrina's placenta was abrupted. Usually women deliver a baby within 24 hours after the water breaks. I did not. Then 50% deliver within 2 weeks, if not the first 24 hours. I did not do that either. PRAISE GOD! The girls would have had a much more difficult road than they did had they even been a week earlier. We were praying they would stay cooking for at least 26 weeks gestation. They made it 27 weeks and 3 days. NO BLINDNESS, NO HEARING ISSUES, NO C.P., NO SURGERY, NO DEATH!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! Here come the tears... the list above were all possibilities due to how early they were born. What has blessed me the most during this time is the staff at this hospital.
When I first arrived I had Dr. Freeman. Perinatologist. GREAT DR! He made me feel so comfortable in a very scary time. I felt so taken care of and comfortable. The next Dr on was Dr Labarsky... actually wife of Dr Freeman. WHAT A GREAT COUPLE. Two beautiful children. Dr Labarsky, ALSO BORN AT ST. ELIZABETH's IN UTICA, NY... who would have thought. It is a small world. She felt like a sister taking care of me. All was quiet... and then...
A new Dr was on... I blame Dr Labarsky for leaving me. Going into labor early was her fault... JUST KIDDING!
Then I had Dr. Kennedy. Keep in mind there was several Drs on call and I cannot even begin to tell all the other ones I saw, but the ones I mentioning are Perinatologists. Dr. Kennedy would sit on my bedside, explain and drew the details with diagrams. She was so comforting and took such wonderful care of me. During her week and the next I was having cramping each night. SEVERE PAIN!!! Two nights I was in full out labor. They treated the labor with magnesium the first night, which I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN! IT WAS HORRIBLE. All I wanted was Dr Kennedy, by my side holding my hand. It was then the end of Dr. Kennedy's week and I didn't want her to go. I felt like I was alone once she left. At this point she gave me her office number and said to call her anytime and she would come to my rescue. I cannot even remember who the next Dr was b/c I think I saw 5 different Drs within 5 days.
The night I realized I was in labor I begged the nurses to call Dr. Kennedy. She walked in a few minutes later with her coat and purse on her arm. She was on her way out the door, but stopped in to see what was going on. I KNEW THEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OK. She was going to make the choices of what needed to happen, and I could trust no one more at this time. Magnesium was not an option... I LOVED HER MORE THEN!!! She and I decided together it was time to deliver the girls. SCARY AND EXCITING... I said, "Who is going to do the surgery?"... She said, "I AM!!" I could not have heard better words. She was not on call, it was the end of her day and she stayed with me!!! She was there for the hardest part... something so scary. If you ever watch the video you will see her perform the surgery. She was so calm and excited. Something as scary as it was, she brought joy and comfort. You can hear it in her voice on the video.
I have not shared this, b/c I have placed the attention on the girls. The week following their delivery was ROUGH for me physically. Forget having to deal with all the girls were dealing with... I had my own struggles. Dr. Kennedy was there through it all. I knew she couldn't be there always... at this point my mom came to my rescue. My mom was here within 2 days and was by my side through it all! She was by my side after two transfusions, through a 102 fever and a uterine infection. Dr Kennedy said I should be all set with my physical body b/c of all I went through. There was nothing else. BUT THERE WAS!!! My legs were extremely swollen and I had an infection in my mouth and there were a few other issues I will not mention. I realized then God placed Dr. Kennedy there to take the place of my mom till my mom could be there. I didn't realize how bad I needed my mom, but Dr Kennedy was there! I do not think she is old enough to be my mom, but she was a temporary replacement. I spoke so highly of her to my mother. One day, while in the hospital, Dr Kennedy walked in the door while my mom was there, and by my reaction my mom knew it was Dr. Kennedy. My face lit up!!! I still feel that way when I pass by her in the hospital too. There is nothing I could do to tell her how much she meant to me! She is amazing!!!!
There are a multitude of nurses that have taken care of me and my girls. I am going to mention the ones who took care of me the most. They will always remain so special to me. I have many of their e-mails and will at least remain pen pals. I do not know what I could have done without each one of their special personalities in my life.
Judi, my anti-partum nurse. She was there to comfort me when I was in tears, sitting in bed, unable to move, having to take nasty antibiotics and feeling so alone. I LOVE YOU JUDI!
My nurse Gina, in post partum helped me get my butt out of bed after surgery. I never hated someone or loved someone so much in my life... AT THE SAME TIME. I was in so much pain, but she made me do it in such a loving way! It was such a rough recovery for me. Other nurses tried to help and I would begin to shake. When she came, my whole body calmed. She was great.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE NEONATOLOGISTS or NURSING STAFF!!! THEY ARE AMAZING!!! Even the girls who answer the phones are simply the best!!! THANK YOU LADIES!!!
The girls' Drs were: Dr. Azzeme (sp), Dr. Rabine and Dr. Skylar. My daughter's lives were in their hands.
Dr. Skylar was the one who told us the news about Sophia being so sick she might not make it through the night. He is also the one who wants to go on a ride-along with Aaron and the Dr on when Sabrina came home. Please keep him and his wife and family in your prayers. He just found out this past week his wife has breast cancer. My girls are miracles b/c of our prayers... Let's also pray for a miracle for him and his family!!!!
Dr. Azzeme saw the girls the most. He was so calm and patient with all my questions. Explaining full details, times 2 b/c I would forget I already asked so many of the questions the day before!
Dr Rabine... AKA: NICU Comedian was great as well. He brought the accurate amount of humor to a stressful time. After the magnesium treatment, I NEVER WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN. So I asked for a Dr to come in and SCARE ME... so I would do it the MAG treatment again if I needed to... for my girls. He was affective. He also answered many questions. I asked him how they performed the hearing tests. He said they placed little headphones on the babies and told them, raise your hand when you hear the beep! SOOO FUNNY!!!
Now, my girls' nurses!!!
I will mention the nurse ones who have had my girls the most.
Jenni, was such a great teacher and now she remains a wonderful friend. She played worship music in their room bringing comfort to me and my girls, when I could not be there with them.
Sharyl and I shared wonderful stories that made me "giggle". She taught me the importance of Kangaroo Care and how not to be afraid when they were still itty-nitty things. And that life is full of joy, and to let the other stuff in... only things that make me "giggle".
Lynn (sp?) voice comforted me on the night shift. She was the nurse on when I went home for the first time after 4 weeks of being in the hospital. I felt so guilty to leave them there... BUT I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. It was her voice I heard that brought me peace. I will never forget her voice.
Dawn was also a night nurse. She was so sweet. One night I was there at shift change and she went out of her way to introduce herself to me. I appreciated her so much for doing that. I usually only visited during the day, so it was great to place a face with a voice.
Donna ... tears ... the girls call her Aunt Donna. She made me feel like I was in charge. She let me take of my girls in such a way that allowed me to bond and feel comfortable with my girls through such a scary time. She is gentle, peaceful and so wise. I called two nights ago to check on Sophia. Donna was there. It was 8:45. This means she was there two hours AFTER a 12 hour shift. WHAT WAS SHE DOING...
She came to visit Sophia, feed her a bottle and just hold her. I am not able to be there too often, but to know that Aunt Donna was there brought me such joy and peace. THANK YOU AUNT DONNA!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!
If I were to write about each nurse, each Dr and staff member... I would have to write a book. Each person I encountered made this experience much easier to bare.
Emotional Roller Coaster!
I have never felt so many emotions at one time, from opposites side of the spectrum. Joy that I have two baby girls. Fear I would loose both of them. TORN between staying home and taking care of my boys or going to the hospital to take care of my girls. Taking Sabrina home, leaving Sophia in the hospital. So much JOY that Tuesday is my last day to have to travel 28 miles, 30-45 minutes in traffic, through tunnels, over bridges and LOADS OF GAS!!! BUT SO MUCH SADNESS... these wonderful people have been a part of my life for 13 weeks. After Tuesday... NO MORE!
When I first arrived I had Dr. Freeman. Perinatologist. GREAT DR! He made me feel so comfortable in a very scary time. I felt so taken care of and comfortable. The next Dr on was Dr Labarsky... actually wife of Dr Freeman. WHAT A GREAT COUPLE. Two beautiful children. Dr Labarsky, ALSO BORN AT ST. ELIZABETH's IN UTICA, NY... who would have thought. It is a small world. She felt like a sister taking care of me. All was quiet... and then...
A new Dr was on... I blame Dr Labarsky for leaving me. Going into labor early was her fault... JUST KIDDING!
Then I had Dr. Kennedy. Keep in mind there was several Drs on call and I cannot even begin to tell all the other ones I saw, but the ones I mentioning are Perinatologists. Dr. Kennedy would sit on my bedside, explain and drew the details with diagrams. She was so comforting and took such wonderful care of me. During her week and the next I was having cramping each night. SEVERE PAIN!!! Two nights I was in full out labor. They treated the labor with magnesium the first night, which I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN! IT WAS HORRIBLE. All I wanted was Dr Kennedy, by my side holding my hand. It was then the end of Dr. Kennedy's week and I didn't want her to go. I felt like I was alone once she left. At this point she gave me her office number and said to call her anytime and she would come to my rescue. I cannot even remember who the next Dr was b/c I think I saw 5 different Drs within 5 days.
The night I realized I was in labor I begged the nurses to call Dr. Kennedy. She walked in a few minutes later with her coat and purse on her arm. She was on her way out the door, but stopped in to see what was going on. I KNEW THEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OK. She was going to make the choices of what needed to happen, and I could trust no one more at this time. Magnesium was not an option... I LOVED HER MORE THEN!!! She and I decided together it was time to deliver the girls. SCARY AND EXCITING... I said, "Who is going to do the surgery?"... She said, "I AM!!" I could not have heard better words. She was not on call, it was the end of her day and she stayed with me!!! She was there for the hardest part... something so scary. If you ever watch the video you will see her perform the surgery. She was so calm and excited. Something as scary as it was, she brought joy and comfort. You can hear it in her voice on the video.
I have not shared this, b/c I have placed the attention on the girls. The week following their delivery was ROUGH for me physically. Forget having to deal with all the girls were dealing with... I had my own struggles. Dr. Kennedy was there through it all. I knew she couldn't be there always... at this point my mom came to my rescue. My mom was here within 2 days and was by my side through it all! She was by my side after two transfusions, through a 102 fever and a uterine infection. Dr Kennedy said I should be all set with my physical body b/c of all I went through. There was nothing else. BUT THERE WAS!!! My legs were extremely swollen and I had an infection in my mouth and there were a few other issues I will not mention. I realized then God placed Dr. Kennedy there to take the place of my mom till my mom could be there. I didn't realize how bad I needed my mom, but Dr Kennedy was there! I do not think she is old enough to be my mom, but she was a temporary replacement. I spoke so highly of her to my mother. One day, while in the hospital, Dr Kennedy walked in the door while my mom was there, and by my reaction my mom knew it was Dr. Kennedy. My face lit up!!! I still feel that way when I pass by her in the hospital too. There is nothing I could do to tell her how much she meant to me! She is amazing!!!!
There are a multitude of nurses that have taken care of me and my girls. I am going to mention the ones who took care of me the most. They will always remain so special to me. I have many of their e-mails and will at least remain pen pals. I do not know what I could have done without each one of their special personalities in my life.
Judi, my anti-partum nurse. She was there to comfort me when I was in tears, sitting in bed, unable to move, having to take nasty antibiotics and feeling so alone. I LOVE YOU JUDI!
My nurse Gina, in post partum helped me get my butt out of bed after surgery. I never hated someone or loved someone so much in my life... AT THE SAME TIME. I was in so much pain, but she made me do it in such a loving way! It was such a rough recovery for me. Other nurses tried to help and I would begin to shake. When she came, my whole body calmed. She was great.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE NEONATOLOGISTS or NURSING STAFF!!! THEY ARE AMAZING!!! Even the girls who answer the phones are simply the best!!! THANK YOU LADIES!!!
The girls' Drs were: Dr. Azzeme (sp), Dr. Rabine and Dr. Skylar. My daughter's lives were in their hands.
Dr. Skylar was the one who told us the news about Sophia being so sick she might not make it through the night. He is also the one who wants to go on a ride-along with Aaron and the Dr on when Sabrina came home. Please keep him and his wife and family in your prayers. He just found out this past week his wife has breast cancer. My girls are miracles b/c of our prayers... Let's also pray for a miracle for him and his family!!!!
Dr. Azzeme saw the girls the most. He was so calm and patient with all my questions. Explaining full details, times 2 b/c I would forget I already asked so many of the questions the day before!
Dr Rabine... AKA: NICU Comedian was great as well. He brought the accurate amount of humor to a stressful time. After the magnesium treatment, I NEVER WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN. So I asked for a Dr to come in and SCARE ME... so I would do it the MAG treatment again if I needed to... for my girls. He was affective. He also answered many questions. I asked him how they performed the hearing tests. He said they placed little headphones on the babies and told them, raise your hand when you hear the beep! SOOO FUNNY!!!
Now, my girls' nurses!!!
I will mention the nurse ones who have had my girls the most.
Jenni, was such a great teacher and now she remains a wonderful friend. She played worship music in their room bringing comfort to me and my girls, when I could not be there with them.
Sharyl and I shared wonderful stories that made me "giggle". She taught me the importance of Kangaroo Care and how not to be afraid when they were still itty-nitty things. And that life is full of joy, and to let the other stuff in... only things that make me "giggle".
Lynn (sp?) voice comforted me on the night shift. She was the nurse on when I went home for the first time after 4 weeks of being in the hospital. I felt so guilty to leave them there... BUT I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. It was her voice I heard that brought me peace. I will never forget her voice.
Dawn was also a night nurse. She was so sweet. One night I was there at shift change and she went out of her way to introduce herself to me. I appreciated her so much for doing that. I usually only visited during the day, so it was great to place a face with a voice.
Donna ... tears ... the girls call her Aunt Donna. She made me feel like I was in charge. She let me take of my girls in such a way that allowed me to bond and feel comfortable with my girls through such a scary time. She is gentle, peaceful and so wise. I called two nights ago to check on Sophia. Donna was there. It was 8:45. This means she was there two hours AFTER a 12 hour shift. WHAT WAS SHE DOING...
She came to visit Sophia, feed her a bottle and just hold her. I am not able to be there too often, but to know that Aunt Donna was there brought me such joy and peace. THANK YOU AUNT DONNA!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!
If I were to write about each nurse, each Dr and staff member... I would have to write a book. Each person I encountered made this experience much easier to bare.
Emotional Roller Coaster!
I have never felt so many emotions at one time, from opposites side of the spectrum. Joy that I have two baby girls. Fear I would loose both of them. TORN between staying home and taking care of my boys or going to the hospital to take care of my girls. Taking Sabrina home, leaving Sophia in the hospital. So much JOY that Tuesday is my last day to have to travel 28 miles, 30-45 minutes in traffic, through tunnels, over bridges and LOADS OF GAS!!! BUT SO MUCH SADNESS... these wonderful people have been a part of my life for 13 weeks. After Tuesday... NO MORE!
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