One year ago today...

Day 3...The sun was shining... 

My boys came to visit me and we showed them pics of their new sisters. They were not allowed in the NICU! At this point we did not think they could go see the girls, but we wanted them involved. Later, we learned Ty could go in and he did. Anyways, today was a magical day because we named the girls. We had Sabrina Star and Sophia Brooke picked out... but we didn't know which one was which. The girls were all tubed up and had sensors all over them. I did not want to scare the boys so I had them place stickers on their bodies to help them out a bit. In the womb they were Baby A and Baby B in the NICU they were Baby 1 and Baby 2. Each time Aaron went to visit, the NICU nurses asked if we had named them yet!!! One nurse later commented that many families wait to name the baby until they knew it was going to survive, but that was not the case with us.  

WE LET THE BOYS PICK! 

We showed the boys the pictures of the girls and they change their mind several times, but Tyler's first pick stuck! 

Aaron also liked it this way, because then they were in alphabetically order!!! 

After the boys left I was ready to get up and see the girls for the first time, 

WITHOUT OD-ING ON MORPHINE!!!!! It took me about 30 minutes to get out of bed and into the wheelchair. Recovering from a C-section is not so bad, but with the infection and all the other issues I had a much harder time! I felt weak and sick still, but had enough to finally see my girls. This is where reality hit. Aaron walked the 2 blocks from my room to the NICU to find out... THE NICU was closed. CLOSED??? 

HOW CAN IT BE CLOSED!!! I AM UP AND WANT TO SEE MY GIRLS! 

Well, there was another baby in the NICU who was not doing so well. Out of respect for the families going through a difficult time they would close the NICU! My first fear was that it was one of my girls. But, then I realized they would have told me and I would have been in there. But still scary. Aaron and I waited patiently right outside the door, anxious to see our girls, praying for this other baby who was struggling for its life. (If my investigations all lined up right (which I will never know for sure) this baby did not make it. He was born too early and had major heart and lung issues. He was in the bed right next to Sabrina. We saw him each day with so many more issues and then one day we walked in, after the girls were a few weeks old and he was no longer by Sabrina's side. VERY VERY SAD!!!)

As Aaron waited patiently behind me in the wheelchair, he could not see what was happening to me. One of the NICU staff members saw me from inside and called out... ARE YOU OK???? 

At that point I was ghost white and slumped over in the chair. I remember Aaron leaning over to look at me and I was about to fall out of the chair. The NICU staff member came running out. Within seconds there was a nurse behind my chair running me back to my room. Every bump and turn hurt my entire abdomen, but I need to be in bed. I was able to get into bed quickly, but I really had no choice. Once again... 

I COULD NOT SEE MY GIRLS!!!!! 

I fell asleep for about 5 hours and when I woke they were getting me ready for a blood transfusion. Aaron then told me, while I slept he and the Dr decided I was in desperate need of blood. I consented. One was not enough. I was still terribly sick. In went the second bag. After that one I was finally well enough that the coloring came back to my face. Kat and Dio came to visit and they got to see the girls, but I did not!!! Not for another whole day!!! But thank God for digital cameras! Aaron would go see the girls a few times a day!! Kat, Dio and Aaron saw my progress from one blood transfusion to the next. It was like night and day!!! I was getting better! 

Maybe tomorrow I could go see them!!!

But tonight! Tonight was the night my darling mother flew in and stayed with me for weeks!!!! Total of 2.5 months all together! I have the best mom in the WHOLE WORLD!!!