Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sisters!!!

Twins, but do not look a like at all!
Buddies!
MY SISTER!!!!


Hugs!


I AM A VIDEO!

video

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Aunt Erinn's visit!

"Thank you Aunt Erinn for my special hat you made."
-Sophia

Sabrina in her first sundress, it was 97 today!
Sophia, healthy and ready to come home on Tuesday! She had a cold and with her harder start, it is harder for her to fight it off. Sabrina had it too, and she handled it fine. Sophia might always need extra special care.


Friday, June 27, 2008

Pics with Sis before she had to go back to hosp.

Sophia with a killer-punch:)
Not really... but I took the pic at the right time, making it look like she did!
Sleeping side by side. Can you tell who is who?






Aunt Donna

This is Aunt Donna, the girls' nurse I keep talking about, with Sabrina the first few days of her life.
Aunt Donna' s hands and one of mommy's a few days after birth.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

A long day!

It started at 4am when my sister came in my room telling me Sophia wasn't eating. I then tried to wake by removing her sleeper her but she didn't seem to want to eat. I let her rest. At the 7am feeding she eat an entire bottle (2 oz.) but didn't seem as alert as she usually was. At this point her lips and tongue turned purple, I tapped on her back and she came to after a large TOOT! She seemed better. Then I noticed she was pale and lethargic. After calling the Dr she recommended a 10 appointment, I said ... NO I AM ON MY WAY! After seeing the wonderful ped Dr Lasater, Sophia was rushed back to St Vincent's via CODE 3 ambulance (lights and sirens).
She was stabilized and is now back on C PAP and two iv's for fluids and antibiotics. She is doing well. All the tests are coming back negative. Even the spinal tap to check for meningitis. Dr's think she got sick, and tests aren't showing it or it was caused by environmental issues (having hard time dealing with being at home) or b/c I took off the sleeper and didn't re wrap her, she may have experienced temperature stress. It could be any combination or none of them. We do not know yet! We might not ever know for sure.
What I am sure of is that my girls will be wrapped or swaddled till kindergarten, and no one is allowed around the girls unless their hands are washed and clean. I know I have already been to lenient with Sabrina and I am tightening the reigns as recommended, until they are 2! After seeing my daughter turn purple, I will not take anymore chances.
My darling nurse Donna was there to comfort me and Sophia. She has been with my girls so much, Sophia knows her voice as well as mine. I know she is in good hands, and God is in control no matter what the results.
Thank you all for your prayers. LOVE YOU!!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

WE ARE FAMILY!!!

The Cole's Together at Last!
Ty w/ Sophia     Alex w/ Sabrina
1st SUNLIGHT!!!
Aunt Erinn made this special blanket!!! It is one blanket in two pieces!!!
Isn't it beautiful!???!

Monday, June 23, 2008

New pics!

Good Morning!

My BFF, not yours!!!

This is not my sister but I will snuggle with her till Sophia comes home!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Thank you to all at St. Vincent's!!

I am going to try my hardest to write this blog entry without tearing up or having to stop b/c I am all out crying with joy!!! It all began April 1st. I was transported from SW Medical, 3 miles down the road, to St Vincent's 28 miles away. Aunt Krista came to our rescue and took care of the boys. Between her and Aunt Audra the boys were taken care of these first scary 24 hours. Within 5 days Beth was here from Laos to take care of the boys and her son.  What brought me to hospital was Sohpia's water had broken, 24 weeks gestation. From that we realize Sabrina's placenta was abrupted. Usually women deliver a baby within 24 hours after the water breaks. I did not. Then 50% deliver within 2 weeks, if not the first 24 hours. I did not do that either. PRAISE GOD! The girls would have had a much more difficult road than they did had they even been a week earlier. We were praying they would stay cooking for at least 26 weeks gestation. They made it 27 weeks and 3 days. NO BLINDNESS, NO HEARING ISSUES, NO C.P., NO SURGERY, NO DEATH!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! Here come the tears... the list above were all possibilities due to how early they were born. What has blessed me the most during this time is the staff at this hospital.
When I first arrived I had Dr. Freeman. Perinatologist. GREAT DR! He made me feel so comfortable in a very scary time. I felt so taken care of and comfortable. The next Dr on was Dr Labarsky... actually wife of Dr Freeman. WHAT A GREAT COUPLE. Two beautiful children. Dr Labarsky, ALSO BORN AT ST. ELIZABETH's IN UTICA, NY... who would have thought. It is a small world. She felt like a sister taking care of me. All was quiet... and then...
A new Dr was on... I blame Dr Labarsky for leaving me. Going into labor early was her fault... JUST KIDDING!
Then I had Dr. Kennedy. Keep in mind there was several Drs on call and I cannot even begin to tell all the other ones I saw, but the ones I mentioning are Perinatologists. Dr. Kennedy would sit on my bedside, explain and drew the details with diagrams. She was so comforting and took such wonderful care of me. During her week and the next I was having cramping each night. SEVERE PAIN!!! Two nights I was in full out labor. They treated the labor with magnesium the first night, which I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN! IT WAS HORRIBLE. All I wanted was Dr Kennedy, by my side holding my hand. It was then the end of Dr. Kennedy's week and I didn't want her to go. I felt like I was alone once she left. At this point she gave me her office number and said to call her anytime and she would come to my rescue. I cannot even remember who the next Dr was b/c I think I saw 5 different Drs within 5 days.
The night I realized I was in labor I begged the nurses to call Dr. Kennedy. She walked in a few minutes later with her coat and purse on her arm. She was on her way out the door, but stopped in to see what was going on. I KNEW THEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OK. She was going to make the choices of what needed to happen, and I could trust no one more at this time. Magnesium was not an option... I LOVED HER MORE THEN!!! She and I decided together it was time to deliver the girls. SCARY AND EXCITING... I said, "Who is going to do the surgery?"... She said, "I AM!!" I could not have heard better words. She was not on call, it was the end of her day and she stayed with me!!! She was there for the hardest part... something so scary. If you ever watch the video you will see her perform the surgery. She was so calm and excited. Something as scary as it was, she brought joy and comfort. You can hear it in her voice on the video.
I have not shared this, b/c I have placed the attention on the girls. The week following their delivery was ROUGH for me physically. Forget having to deal with all the girls were dealing with... I had my own struggles. Dr. Kennedy was there through it all. I knew she couldn't be there always... at this point my mom came to my rescue. My mom was here within 2 days and was by my side through it all! She was by my side after two transfusions, through a 102 fever and a uterine infection. Dr Kennedy said I should be all set with my physical body b/c of all I went through. There was nothing else. BUT THERE WAS!!! My legs were extremely swollen and I had an infection in my mouth and there were a few other issues I will not mention. I realized then God placed Dr. Kennedy there to take the place of my mom till my mom could be there. I didn't realize how bad I needed my mom, but Dr Kennedy was there! I do not think she is old enough to be my mom, but she was a temporary replacement. I spoke so highly of her to my mother. One day, while in the hospital, Dr Kennedy walked in the door while my mom was there, and by my reaction my mom knew it was Dr. Kennedy. My face lit up!!! I still feel that way when I pass by her in the hospital too. There is nothing I could do to tell her how much she meant to me! She is amazing!!!!
There are a multitude of nurses that have taken care of me and my girls. I am going to mention the ones who took care of me the most. They will always remain so special to me. I have many of their e-mails and will at least remain pen pals. I do not know what I could have done without each one of their special personalities in my life.
Judi, my anti-partum nurse. She was there to comfort me when I was in tears, sitting in bed, unable to move, having to take nasty antibiotics and feeling so alone. I LOVE YOU JUDI!
My nurse Gina, in post partum helped me get my butt out of bed after surgery. I never hated someone or loved someone so much in my life... AT THE SAME TIME. I was in so much pain, but she made me do it in such a loving way! It was such a rough recovery for me. Other nurses tried to help and I would begin to shake. When she came, my whole body calmed. She was great.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE NEONATOLOGISTS or NURSING STAFF!!! THEY ARE AMAZING!!! Even the girls who answer the phones are simply the best!!! THANK YOU LADIES!!!

The girls' Drs were: Dr. Azzeme (sp), Dr. Rabine and Dr. Skylar. My daughter's lives were in their hands.
Dr. Skylar was the one who told us the news about Sophia being so sick she might not make it through the night. He is also the one who wants to go on a ride-along with Aaron and the Dr on when Sabrina came home. Please keep him and his wife and family in your prayers. He just found out this past week his wife has breast cancer. My girls are miracles b/c of our prayers... Let's also pray for a miracle for him and his family!!!!
Dr. Azzeme saw the girls the most. He was so calm and patient with all my questions. Explaining full details, times 2 b/c I would forget I already asked so many of the questions the day before!
Dr Rabine... AKA: NICU Comedian was great as well. He brought the accurate amount of humor to a stressful time. After the magnesium treatment, I NEVER WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN. So I asked for a Dr to come in and SCARE ME... so I would do it the MAG treatment again if I needed to... for my girls. He was affective. He also answered many questions. I asked him how they performed the hearing tests. He said they placed little headphones on the babies and told them, raise your hand when you hear the beep! SOOO FUNNY!!!

Now, my girls' nurses!!!
I will mention the nurse ones who have had my girls the most.
Jenni, was such a great teacher and now she remains a wonderful friend. She played worship music in their room bringing comfort to me and my girls, when I could not be there with them.
Sharyl and I shared wonderful stories that made me "giggle". She taught me the importance of Kangaroo Care and how not to be afraid when they were still itty-nitty things. And that life is full of joy, and to let the other stuff in... only things that make me "giggle".
Lynn (sp?) voice comforted me on the night shift. She was the nurse on when I went home for the first time after 4 weeks of being in the hospital. I felt so guilty to leave them there... BUT I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. It was her voice I heard that brought me peace. I will never forget her voice.
Dawn was also a night nurse. She was so sweet. One night I was there at shift change and she went out of her way to introduce herself to me. I appreciated her so much for doing that. I usually only visited during the day, so it was great to place a face with a voice.
Donna ... tears ... the girls call her Aunt Donna. She made me feel like I was in charge. She let me take of my girls in such a way that allowed me to bond and feel comfortable with my girls through such a scary time. She is gentle, peaceful and so wise. I called two nights ago to check on Sophia. Donna was there. It was 8:45. This means she was there two hours AFTER a 12 hour shift. WHAT WAS SHE DOING...
She came to visit Sophia, feed her a bottle and just hold her. I am not able to be there too often, but to know that Aunt Donna was there brought me such joy and peace. THANK YOU AUNT DONNA!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!
If I were to write about each nurse, each Dr and staff member... I would have to write a book. Each person I encountered made this experience much easier to bare.
Emotional Roller Coaster!
I have never felt so many emotions at one time, from opposites side of the spectrum. Joy that I have two baby girls. Fear I would loose both of them. TORN between staying home and taking care of my boys or going to the hospital to take care of my girls. Taking Sabrina home, leaving Sophia in the hospital. So much JOY that Tuesday is my last day to have to travel 28 miles, 30-45 minutes in traffic, through tunnels, over bridges and LOADS OF GAS!!! BUT SO MUCH SADNESS... these wonderful people have been a part of my life for 13 weeks. After Tuesday... NO MORE!

Friday, June 20, 2008

FAMILY!

1st Drs Appt... Here we go! The Dr heard Sabrina's murmur again. She will have another echo next week. I will keep you posted. I guess it is not uncommon for the PDA to open and close. Her belly was so filled up and the Dr did an x-ray and there was tons of air. Being that she is preemie her "gut" had to work sooner than is should and it is harder for her work things out. Over the next few months this area should be much better. It does cause her much discomfort, so we can not wait till this stage is over with. I bought new bottle hoping this will help her to not take in as much air. Doesn't she look so darling in her HUGE car seat? Check out her proud brothers! Sophia is coming home Tuesday no matter what. She may be on a small amount of oxygen, we shall see. We are praying she doesn't need it so we don't have to bring home the alarm that comes with the oxygen. Donna, one of my favorite nurses, told me it sounds like a fire alarm. A mom will do what she has to do... but it would be nice to have her "grow out" of this before she comes home. Again, I will keep you posted.

"I love my mom" -Sabrina

Tyler having fun with Daddy-Man!
I want to hold Sabrina... My baby sister.

Here is your binky baby sister. 
Sabrina Star- compare my pose to big brother Alex 2.5 years ago!
Alexander Benjamin, my baby sister is already trying to be like me:)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

She is home!!!

Watching over sister! Tyler doesn't want to leave her side! Alex is so curious about all her sounds!
Tyler is playing with my hair, while feeding baby sister!
Proud brothers!!!!!
Thomas Rocks!


Alex meeting Sabrina for the first time:) He was asleep at the hospital. When we got home was awake!!! When he realized she was home he said, "He's home!" with his arms way out wide!
This is a video.
video

My boys!!!








My boys have been so wonderful the last few months, heck... they have been great kids the whole lives. But, what I mean is they have handled all this added stress from the beginning when I was so sick till now. I LOVE YOU TYLER AND ALEX!!! These are a few wonderful pics taken by my KSF, Tera. Don't be too jealous... my kids are sooooo cute and the pics came out great!!! Thanks Tera!!! Her darling little boys are also in the pics... Colton and Austin!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Thursday, June 12, 2008

SOOooo...

I will not announce their arrival home until they are actually home. Sabrina's trip home has been postponed. She had an apnea spell and is no longer going to be home on Saturday. They will both be home sometime in the next 10 days. They are both doing well! And we are ready for them when they come... as ready as we will ever be:)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

IT's MORE OFFICIAL THAN EVER!!!


Sabrina is coming home on Saturday! 
She needs to keep gaining weight, her blood pressure has to remain low and she needs to pass a on hour car seat test. The secretary has already called to set up all her follow up visits. This is when it really hit me that my baby is coming home!!! Sophia is doing great and we are praying for a miracle over night for her as well. She is still on some oxygen and could come with it by Saturday as well, but they are giving her a little more time show us what she is capable of. We are expecting her to be home next week if not with Sabrina. 

To make sure each of you is updated... Sabrina had a moderate heart murmur, meaning she still had the hole in her heart on Monday. Tuesday... the murmur was gone!!! Her blood pressure was high and now it is where it is suppose to be. OVER NIGHT... God anyone???? On Monday we were thinking she would have to stay another week, but she is coming home!!!!! 

I looked into their crib today and almost began to cry. God is amazing in how He created each one of us... but then to think the girls were born 3 MONTHS EARLY!!! And they are doing amazing! Sophia, bless her little heart and lungs :)... almost did not make it.  Just the fact that she needed Nitric medicine and she survived is huge, per explanation by nurse Jenni. I don't think I will truly fully understand that Sophia had the difficult time she did the first 24 hours of her life. I am so glad I will have days filled with 4 babies calling for my attention!!! God gave me four for a reason and I will thank Him daily!!! No matter what!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Two Parts!

I got report from the Dr today... Sabrina will not be coming home this week. She is beginning to de-sat again during feedings which is VERY TYPICAL FOR HER AGE!!! They began preparing the girls to come home this week, but each of them showed they are not ready yet. Sophia may need to come home on oxygen. I am praying she is all healed up and does not need this treatment. HER PDA IS CLOSED...PRAISE THE LORD!!! Sabrina's PDA has not yet. If she becomes symptomatic this may mean she will need surgery. We are also praying this does not happen. I will keep you posted.  

I can not even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you read this blog. Knowing I am writing and so many people are reading and praying brings me so much comfort. Your prayers, thoughts and many cards have made this road much easier to travel. I do not know what I would have done without all this love and support! PLEASE DO NOT STOP! The girls are doing great for their ages, but they still need many prayers. Even after they come home we are going to busy with many Dr appts and all the other things that come with having a newborn (x2), preemie issues (x2) and a girl (x2). Although they are now 7 weeks old... they really are not full term and are considered to be newborns through July 17th, which was my original due date. Reality has hit me, and my days have been difficult. BUT THERE IS NOTHING MORE JOYFUL THAN HAVING A FAMILY OF 6!!! A Mother of FOUR!!! And I also have a husband who is still in love with me... even after the hardest 8 months of my life. We have been challenged, but God remains our comfort and our protector no matter what may come our way.     

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Mama Bear!



I was so nervous to hold both of them, because last time I almost dropped Sabrina. They were pushing each other off me. THIS TIME... once the girls' nurse Jenni place both girls on my chest, she said my shoulder tensed up right away. Then Jenni got me a few pillows and my shoulders went back to where they were suppose to. The girls are doing great. Sabrina might be home on Friday. THEY BOTH PASSED THEIR HEARING TESTS and Sabrina is getting her car seat test tonight. You should see how tiny she looks in that HUGE seat!!! SHE IS SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!! They are getting ultrasounds on the their hearts tomorrow to see where their PDA's really are. I will keep you posted. Sabrina nursed two times today and was not too tired. She is making me feel better about her coming home with no issues. I AM SO EXCITED!!! Sophia will be home sometime next week:)! She is doing well, but keep her in her prayers. Because of her rougher start and being on a respirator, she may have scar tissue in her lung causing her to progress a tad slower. BUT FOR 27 weekers...

THEY ARE BOTH DOING AMAZING!!!!!

SOOO SOOO COOOL!


Saturday, June 7, 2008

Friday, June 6, 2008

OUR GIRLS:)!

Hello friends and family. I am so pleased that so many of you check up on my girls so much! They are doing so well and progressin as they should.


Sabrina is of any oxygen, no feeding tubes and they are only monitoring her heart rate and breathing. She is nursing great and growing strong. Sophia is doing great. She is still on a small amount of oxygen and had a spell today that was scary for me, but the nurse reassured me that this is typical of preemies and she is still doing really well!! She loves her binky!!!
OUR GIRLS!!!
AREN'T THEY DARLING!

This is a video...



video