I feel sooo loved by my bro-bro Auggie!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Alex's emotions watching FLUSHED AWAY!! He is INTO it!
He is emotional just like his Mama!
Sabrina with Mama!
"This bib is going to take getting used to! Thank you Chelsea and Jesse! IT'S PINK!"
"I HATE THIS PINK THING!"
This is Tyler's, "I am not looking at you." face!
HAPPY HAPPY BOY!!! SO Stinkin' cute!!
"CHELSEA... WHY DID YOU BUY ME THAT BIB!" -Sabrina
"Chelsea is cool! I LOVE HER!" -Sophia
"I love you too Chelsea, but first my tuft is gone... then the bib! It has been a rough day!"
Bina and her bottle!!! She wishes she could drink the bottle on her belly!
Sophia figured out, but she had a different kind of bottle.
Sophia wanted the toy... but it was on the other side of Sabrina. Why go around... GO OVER!!! She was pushing so hard Sabrina farted twice!! You can see she is not happy!
BYE BYE TUFT!!!
It is now in the safe, for safe keeping!!!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sophia's tooth broke through yesterday!!! We all celebrated. The boys are very VERY excited!!! Pilar checked the night before, and there was nothing yet. Yesterday... A TOOTH!!!! Out of all 4 of my kids, Sophia's is the one to get a tooth the earlier. The boys didn't get teeth till much closer to a year... and Since the girls are 9 months with 1 year experience, this make Sophia the earliest!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Today I was felling 100% better. I was able to shower move around easier... but still very very hard. MY MOM WAS HERE AND BY MY SIDE THE WHOLE TIME!
FINALLY I WAS ABLE TO SEE THE GIRLS!!!! I was so wonderful, and still so sad. I was able to hold Sabrina who seemed to be doing so well. She "tolerated" both Aaron and I holding her in one day. It was magical and so miraculous.
Sophia was on the oscillating vent a few days but now she was on a regular vent. Babies this young are born at a 2 on the pain scale. She was still on morphine. When I realized this I was in tears. My poor baby girl was in the crib, in pain and there was nothing I could do. Aunt Donna was my nurse this day, and she let me touch Sophia. Each nurse was different. I rubbed her head for a minute and then moved away. As I moved away she reached up and grabbed my hand. WAit a second, I am trying to remember back... I may have gone to see the girls last night. I can not remember. So, it was either late last night or today. I am a bit confused. Maybe someday I will remember. I can not recall if I ever saw her on the other vent or not. Hmmmm....
My wonderful nurse helped give me the strength to go see the girls, my mom, Aaron's mom and Aaron were also there. It was great to have family surround such a great day!
After returning to bed and relaxing after a busy day I started to feel really really sick again. I called a nurse into the room and I had a 101-102 fever. Within a short period of time I have the shivers and could not stop. At this point, I was afraid I was going to die... again. This also meant another day or two at the hosp. I was already there 4 weeks... unable to go home. I WANTED TO GO HOME SO BAD! But, knew there was no way. Besides the news about Sophia (who was mostly out of the woods) this was a bad bad night.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
This is a picture of Aaron when he was about the girls' age.
SABRINA LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM!!!!
This is Aaron holding his baby brother Nathan! Nathan just had his 2nd baby... Elijah! I think he looks like Nathan's baby pic!!! Cole jeans are strong!!!
You can see Sabrina in Aaron here too! Just put some earring on him:) you would be able to tell!!!
Day 3...The sun was shining...
My boys came to visit me and we showed them pics of their new sisters. They were not allowed in the NICU! At this point we did not think they could go see the girls, but we wanted them involved. Later, we learned Ty could go in and he did. Anyways, today was a magical day because we named the girls. We had Sabrina Star and Sophia Brooke picked out... but we didn't know which one was which. The girls were all tubed up and had sensors all over them. I did not want to scare the boys so I had them place stickers on their bodies to help them out a bit. In the womb they were Baby A and Baby B in the NICU they were Baby 1 and Baby 2. Each time Aaron went to visit, the NICU nurses asked if we had named them yet!!! One nurse later commented that many families wait to name the baby until they knew it was going to survive, but that was not the case with us.
WE LET THE BOYS PICK!
We showed the boys the pictures of the girls and they change their mind several times, but Tyler's first pick stuck!
Aaron also liked it this way, because then they were in alphabetically order!!!
After the boys left I was ready to get up and see the girls for the first time,
WITHOUT OD-ING ON MORPHINE!!!!! It took me about 30 minutes to get out of bed and into the wheelchair. Recovering from a C-section is not so bad, but with the infection and all the other issues I had a much harder time! I felt weak and sick still, but had enough to finally see my girls. This is where reality hit. Aaron walked the 2 blocks from my room to the NICU to find out... THE NICU was closed. CLOSED???
HOW CAN IT BE CLOSED!!! I AM UP AND WANT TO SEE MY GIRLS!
Well, there was another baby in the NICU who was not doing so well. Out of respect for the families going through a difficult time they would close the NICU! My first fear was that it was one of my girls. But, then I realized they would have told me and I would have been in there. But still scary. Aaron and I waited patiently right outside the door, anxious to see our girls, praying for this other baby who was struggling for its life. (If my investigations all lined up right (which I will never know for sure) this baby did not make it. He was born too early and had major heart and lung issues. He was in the bed right next to Sabrina. We saw him each day with so many more issues and then one day we walked in, after the girls were a few weeks old and he was no longer by Sabrina's side. VERY VERY SAD!!!)
As Aaron waited patiently behind me in the wheelchair, he could not see what was happening to me. One of the NICU staff members saw me from inside and called out... ARE YOU OK????
At that point I was ghost white and slumped over in the chair. I remember Aaron leaning over to look at me and I was about to fall out of the chair. The NICU staff member came running out. Within seconds there was a nurse behind my chair running me back to my room. Every bump and turn hurt my entire abdomen, but I need to be in bed. I was able to get into bed quickly, but I really had no choice. Once again...
I COULD NOT SEE MY GIRLS!!!!!
I fell asleep for about 5 hours and when I woke they were getting me ready for a blood transfusion. Aaron then told me, while I slept he and the Dr decided I was in desperate need of blood. I consented. One was not enough. I was still terribly sick. In went the second bag. After that one I was finally well enough that the coloring came back to my face. Kat and Dio came to visit and they got to see the girls, but I did not!!! Not for another whole day!!! But thank God for digital cameras! Aaron would go see the girls a few times a day!! Kat, Dio and Aaron saw my progress from one blood transfusion to the next. It was like night and day!!! I was getting better!
Maybe tomorrow I could go see them!!!
But tonight! Tonight was the night my darling mother flew in and stayed with me for weeks!!!! Total of 2.5 months all together! I have the best mom in the WHOLE WORLD!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Day 2 of the girls' lives. At 6:30 am, one year ago... one of the NICU Drs came into my hosp room. Aaron was asleep on the cot next to me. The Dr leaned against the wall to tell us that Sabrina is doing very well, but Sophia was doing very poor. I was in a daze from all the meds lasting through the night. Aaron was beat b/c who can sleep well on a hosp cot? The Dr proceeded to tell us that if 10 is death, Sophia is a 9. They had one more medication to try, if I didn't work, there was nothing else they could do. I was so sick myself I could not move. Then with this news... I felt trapped!!! The night prior, they did wheel me in to the NICU, in my hosp bed to see them, but I was so drugged up my eyes could not focus. I felt like a cartoon where my eyes were spinning so many directions I could not focus and then I passed out. I do not remember anything until the Dr came in to my room. Still, I could not move. He later came in and said within hours her coloring changed from gray to pink and that he had never seen it work so fast or so well! THANK YOU JESUS!!!! At this point she was on an osculating vent. I was too sick to get out of my bed. Aaron took a few pics when they were first born and then he also went to the NICU a few times and took some pics of the girls so I could see what they looked like. I did not the see the girls in person, un-drugged until Day 4. More about Day 3 tomorrow!!!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Since we are having cake on Sunday... today we had Birthday Ice Cream!!!!
They each had Strawberry PINK ice cream!!! And they each got mad when I took it away to wipe their faces... not mad...
My new dress from Tichu and Pilar!!!
Don't I look cute???
Mommy is making me giggle!
My dress is almost as cute as I am!!!
Thank you Tichu and Pilar!
My hair cut was just getting finished up. I was cramping... dizzy.... and just not feeling good at all! I could tell there was something wrong. I felt bad for getting my hair done, thinking this is what caused the labor to be so intense. Later the nurses told me it had nothing to do with that. But I felt guilt for days!!! My body was doing the regular stuff it did at 4 pm... cramping so bad I was needing pain meds and hot packs. But the pain was much worse. I begged for my Dr who was about to leave in a few minutes. She came in my room with her purse and coat on her way out the door. Kristin (another dear friend) and her son Charlie were there visiting. I could tell it was bad, b/c she had such a worried look on her face. The Dr also realized the pain was pretty bad. I begged, PLEASE NO MORE MAG! At that point she told me I was a special case. With Sophia's water being broken they normally don't do mag... but the made exceptions for me. So, she knew they would not do it again. She looks at me and says, "Ok this it. Is Aaron here? Why don't you give him a call." As I type right now, it just so happens that my MP3 player is playing my theme song, I AM HOLDING BACK THE TEARS!:) He has given me the strength!!! Kristin stayed with me and had her hubby call in to work so he could come get their son Charlie and she stayed by my side until it was time. I asked my Dr who was going to do surgery and she said, "ME" I was soooo happy she was going to stay just for me. I will never forget how wonderful that made me feel!! SHE IS AN AMAZING DR!!! They let me get up one more time. And then they began preparing me for surgery. There was so much business going on around me. I was having contractions trying to just relax. Kristin was helping me breath. Charlie was born a just a few months earlier so she remembered!!!
I was so glad it was all going to be over soon. I was in so much agony that I just wanted it over no matter what happened to the girls. If something had happened to one of them I would have felt sooo bad and would not be admitting this. I just wanted it all over! Betsy called me to see if I needed anything and ended up arriving after surgery began and stayed till the girls were born. I never got to see her but I was so happy to know that she and Kristin were outside the operating room, there for Aaron and me!
Earlier, as I was signing the papers to consent to the surgery I could hardly sign my name because of the pain. At this point the Dr said, this is the right choice. Later on we realized it was an infection in my uterus that was causing the pain!
Aaron got their so fast and later admitted he was balling the whole way. So bad that he almost had to pull over. He also told me it was because he was afraid I was going to die.
After 6 attempts at a spinal and the same medical person ended up going out to the hall to announce tons of info (which she was not suppose to do, HIPA) the girls were born at 7:57 and 7:58. Sabrina cried and Sophia looked at the Dr but was not breathing. I have the video if anyone wants to watch!!!!
From then on... the blog says it all!!! My precious girls are in the world happy and ready to TAKE IT OVER!
ONE YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABRINA!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIA!!!
MOMMY LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, April 20, 2009
I do not recall this night exactly, but as I was rocking Sophia to sleep tonight and I did remember it was a night that Aaron could not come. I felt great after the Mag Treatments. And I was settled I was going to be in the hosp for 2 more months. NOTHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!! I remembered Beth ( my mother-in-law) went out of her way several times a week to bring the boys to visit me. It was always such a special time for me. We also had webcam set up at the house through to the computer. I was able to sit with them at dinner or watch Tyler jump off the kitchen table with no one else around!!!!! Tonight, one year ago, was not a night Aaron had off... and I remembered he could only come a few days a week, because he had to also be with the boys. This was only the beginning of the emotional roller coaster of having 4 children!!!
I was excited about my hair appointment set up for April 21st at 2 pm!!! I was soooo excited to be pampered. I was also planning on a masseur coming too!!! I was in it for 2 more months!!!!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I just went back in the blog to one year ago today... and there is nothing. Nothing for several days. Not until after they were born and we knew they were going to be okay. There was nothing posted because this is where my health began to go down hill due to the infection in the uterus. I recall each night being agony. Aaron was working and I just wanted him there. He needed to save his time off for when the girls were born, when I would need him more... but I still wanted him there. Instead... I was in bed crying, in pain wondering when it would end. They gave me sleeping pills which helped a lot. All I could do was repeat to myself... THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS... over and over again in my head. It was my theme song because of my daughters and all the girls who were helping me through. My Mother-in-Law Beth was taking such great care of my boys, friends were stopping by to visit and people all over the east coast were praying daily. My e-mail inbox was never empty! I had some many friends there by my side each day, bringing me things I needed. Audra... what a gem! She made a few Target runs for me! Unmentionables. What a DEAR DEAR FRIEND!!! Labor was never as intense as it was to equal mag treatments until the night they were born, but each night I had many drugs to help me through the pain caused by all the issues I was having. Drugs and MANY MANY HOT PACKS, which relieved the pain as well!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
One year ago today...
I was still on the mag treatment today. My hosp room was 60 degrees for 24 hours. The treatments make you feel really really hot!!! Aaron ended up going home to rest since he did not sleep well and that night my dearest friend Betsy sat by my side, re-wetting my wash clothes that were keeping me cool! I could not leave the bed on the treatments so there I was for 24 hours!!!! IT SUCKED!!!! But I was so glad when the meds wore off. Today was sad, b/c my nurse said I was going to be in bed till they were born. She was wrong... but I was afraid it was there for 2 more months not being able to get up!!!! I just wanted to GO HOME!!!!!!!!!
Friday, April 17, 2009
One year ago tonight... Labor began!!!
I was in day 1 of 5 days of full out labor with the girls. It started around 4 pm and lasted till 8 pm each night, but the pain never totally went away. Each night the pain increased and stayed very painful. The Mag treatments began one year ago this evening and it was causing me to fear for my life. A very scary night!!! A bad nurse (only one the whole time), completely helpless with the feelings of the worst flu!!!! I was watching the clock tick... waking myself every 5 minutes from 10-11 pm feeling like if I let myself drift too far I would die. Exactly one year ago from when this was written. Thank you Kat for staying with me till Aaron arrived. Aaron thank you for staying by my side and defending me with the nurse, feeding me ice chips and not complaining with the room at 60 degrees so I could keep from feeling like I was going to explode!!!! I will never forget this night... one year ago.
Look at what the Lord has done!!!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
There were so many tulips!!!! The boys liked the yellow and red ones the best!
ROWS AND ROWS AND ROWS!
It is called Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm!!!
Bina in the grass and not freaking out!!! That flower in Sophia's hand did not make it... its peddles were all over the grass but the end of the photo shoot!