Thursday, July 31, 2008
We miss you Aunt Donna! These are Aunt Donna's favorite outfits! WE WORE THEM JUST FOR YOU!!! The girls are laying on a blanket that their great great Grandmother made!
The steroids seem to have stopped the growth of the tumor, but it is still not gone. I am sure it will take longer for us to see if it is working. We keep you all updated!Sabrina... rare moment... sound asleep.... and not being held!
One of my "sisters"... Natividad & Sophia!
My mom is here to take care of me and my family. These 3000 miles are further and further apart. She did the math today and we figured she has been here over 2 months if we added together all the time she has spent here this past year.
SHE IS THE BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!
If she were not here, I would not have the time to blog, let alone breath. But she is and I do! We are still under house arrest and will be for about 2 years. I have chosen a few friends who are like sisters, that will be able to enter our home, but with strict orders and stipulations.
Also, a special thanks to Pilar, Natividad's mom. She has made dinner for us 3 times... IN THE LAST WEEK!!! Thank you Pilar! We love you both dearly!
Monday, July 28, 2008
TALK TO THE HAND!!!
Sophia is starting steroid treatment tomorrow for her tumor. A special Dr at OHSU will see her on Aug 13th to see if it has decreased in size. Please pray the steroids work.
Sophia is starting steroid treatment tomorrow for her tumor. A special Dr at OHSU will see her on Aug 13th to see if it has decreased in size. Please pray the steroids work.
Sabrina has been doing very well too!
They both want to be held all the time:)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Please be praying for Sophia. We took her in for a regular check up with concern about her maxillary area under her right eye being swollen. Drs want me to bring Sophia back to St V's in morning for a CT on her nose/eye due to swelling. She will be admitted to the ER and then transferred to the NICU where spent 11.5 weeks of her life. This is where they will do the cat scan and pin point what is happening. Could be a wide variety of things and the cat scan will tell us! I have Drs pager number if anything changes over night. Could be anything from a tumor to a clogged tear duct. I will keep you posted.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
This is the only thing that calmed them down! The bands fell on their own. I didn't do it, but it worked! They need sleeping masks! Pics are blurry b/c they swing were going and they finally settled down, I didn't want to stop the swings:)
We need a life time supply of diapers and batteries!!!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Ever since Daddy held you for the first time he melted!!! Sophia your situation at birth was much more severe we could not hold you for quite a while. But, each time Daddy held you for the first time he did melt! After being questioned, Daddy explain he feels the need to protect each one of you as his baby girls!!! That feeling has not gone away!!!
Sabrina, whenever Daddy has kissed you, you always turn your head into his kiss, like a nuzzle! HE LOVES IT!!! You make eye contact with him more than anyone else too! You mostly look around and study your environment. Sophia, you make eye contact with almost anyone that holds you! You even did this when you were on CPAP! You study people's faces like there is no tomorrow. You are such unique girls:)!!!
My guess is that Sabrina, you will have blue eyes and Sophia's brown!!! Sabrina I think you will have dibbles. Not quite sure about you Sophia. We will see if I am right in a few more months. Sophia you look more like a Fritts... Nonny's maiden name and Sabrina, no mistaking you are a Cole!
She was actually really really comfortable!!
TUMMY SLEEPER ALL THE WAY! They both prefer their tummies!
From here on out I am going to be journaling. So far I have been informative but I am going to switch gears and write as if I am writing to the girls. This is how I have been journaling for Ty and Alex... and will now do for the girls as well. My plan is to journal for all my kids so they have a keepsake when they are older of the stories of their lives!!! I will occasionally add some info to the blog, but either way I would love for you keep reading.
E.g. Sophia you are such puke-er. When we burp you we have to brace ourselves and often need a shower following. It takes about 3 wash clothes to clean up after one of your feeds!!! I love you dearly my sweet little flower!
Both of you REM with your eyes OPEN!!!
Sabrina... although you do not puke, it does take a tad more to burp you. And there needs to be a burp cloth under your chin while you eat. You tend to dribble... where sister won't let a drop fall! You often need "the burp dance" to get out all the gas. If we don't take the time to burp you enough you deal with some pretty nasty tummy aches later on. Oh, and we have to help you poop/release gas too. Being preemie you have a harder time in this area and until you begin rolling over and moving more, we may need to assist you:)!!! A funny story about your brothers regarding this area will be discussed later:) Remind me! I love you sweetly my little Star!
Yesterday morning I was feeding both girl around 5am. They were needing to burp, and in order to do that I need to put both down, adjust the burp clothes and so on. So, at this point the girls are laying on the couch on either side of me. They were both squirmy and fussy and then... all of a sudden they both stopped. I looked at them and they were both staring into the same place on the wall. I looked where they were looking and there were their flower decorations on the wall but it was still dark, and the flowers are pastel so you could hardly see them. With their newborn eyes there is no way they could make out the flowers. It was just starting to become light and there was light come through the window, but they were not looking there. They were looking to the right of the window, into the corner of the room. WHAT WERE THEY LOOKING AT THAT BROUGH BOTH OF THEM SUCH PEACE AT THE SAME TIME???? At that point I felt like, ok, odd, but if it is true... they see the angel(s) and I felt like something was saying, they would sleep better now. I am up at 5am BY MY SELF. No crying, no waking and they both went to sleep around 12 am!!! THIS IS CONSIDERED THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! SO why am I up at 5am??? I went to bed at 9pm and Sophia was stirring... but did not wake. I am so excited I can not go back to sleep. Plus, I got my 8 hours and that is all I need (since I had 10 the night before). Praise God I am rested before Aaron goes back to work on Wed night!!!!
Tyler and Alex also stared at the wall when they were infants. We were living in 2 other places (NY and OR), but both places the boys would stare over the doorway right next to the rocking chair. Almost in awe! The girls were looking into a corner, which is also where the rocking chair is. So, if babies do see angels, I think my children's angels hang out above the rocking chair:)
Sophia now wakes... HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
I was just feeding Sophia a bottle in the rocking chair and Alex decided to come along. I got the boys twins doll to play Daddy. So he did. He copied everything I did. Same facial expressions, same words and same gentleness. I was using a green bottle and he a pink bottle, so those were the only words he changed, "You have a green bottle, baby?" "You have a pink bottle, baby?". Everything else was the same:) I was noticing how Sophia had her hand in the palm of mine as she often does while she eats. I thought for a moment, What does Sabrina do? and I realized... she just lays there and hangs her arms down. Sometimes she holds my finger. As I was pondering all the sweetness I look over at Alex. He is pretending to rip off the dolls arms, legs and eyes and then the bottle he was playing with turned into a gun that shot out milk... and the wrist band that comes with the twins to claim them as your own also became something that shot out bullets. I can't stop laughing as I type. It was so funny!!!!!!!!!! then as I put Sophia in her crib, he went back to be a loving Daddy, copying me and the sounds Sophia made, like they were coming from his baby! :) WHAT JOY!!!!
Here are two diapers. The one on the right is a newborn diaper. Tiny small little things... The one on the left is what they wore when they were born, AND THEY WERE BIG ON THEM!!! So next time your pick up a newborn diaper, fold it in half width wise, then you will know how little they really are!!!
Sabrina in the "tub" but really the sink:)
The girls:) Thank you Poppy and Shirley for the outfits!!!
I was able to sleep last night from 7pm to 5am!!! AARON DID EVERYTHING!!!! He will be sleeping today till about 3pm I think :)!!! The girls are doing great! They are acting like one month olds. If they did go term they would have been born June 28thish, so they kinda are onemonth olds! They are awake longer after feedings, crying louder and are making great eye contact!!!
TYLER IS HOME! We missed him so bad!!!
The boys were wrestling all day! Like two lion cubs that haven't seen each other in a week:)
Oh yeah... I was changing Sabrina this morning and she wanted a binkie. I didn't realize how bad until I saw her sucking on the wipes box!!!! Please keep her in your prayers as she still has tummy issues! Sophia is doing great! She wanted to be rocked to sleep. When we can we do, if not.... the swing. Sophia is currently sleeping soundly in her swing... going MACH 3!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Good thing for the revelation below. I just went in to check on Sabrina who was crying... lifted her to see if she needed a diaper change and she spit up... it went in my hair and dripped down to my shirt onto the floor!!! :) I LAUGHED.... 30 min ago I would have cried:)!!!!
He loves his corn on the cob!!!
I have been going at this all wrong. It is now 3:46 am and I have been up since 1:30. FRUSTRATED, SAD and TIRED! Then all of a sudden it hit me! I have been looking at all this from the wrong angle... Life is now a little harder than before, but my girls are happy and healthy! My boys are doing great, and this time will not last and I know I will wish for it back. Maybe not being so tired, but the baby stage. It is so precious!!! Even though I am tired, the frustration left and I am no longer sad. I just held Sophia in my left arm and Sabrina in my right arm, kissed the top of their heads and everything just felt right!!! (tears) They love the their bottles, I will no longer try to nurse in the middle of the night until they are older. They go right back to sleep with the bottles and fuss and squirm after nursing. It just takes too long right now. During the day when I do nurse I have to also follow up with a small amount of bottle and then they are full:) As they move away from bottle they will nurse better. BUT WHY GET FRUSTRATED, they are still getting Mama's milk, but just in the bottle:) More time for Daddy to bond too. And Nonny when she gets here.... maybe even Papa too. Not sure he has ever given a baby a bottle? I will keep you posted on that one:)
FYI: My mom AKA Nonny, my dad, Papa.
Also a special shot out to the Cops' Chicks. You girls have been there for me by reading my blog, sending me e-mails, dinners, gifts and your support. THANK YOU!!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
I was emptying the dishwasher watching Jon and Kate Plus 8! Reality check. I am tired, but nothing compares. I do not know how they have done it! I also do not know how I can I do this without Aaron. So, as I was finishing the dishwasher I began to tear. This is going be a hard year and I will need tons of help!!!! Hint Hint! I won't ask.. so that was me asking, to those of you who read this and live close by. ALSO MY MOM IS COMING FOR 3 WEEKS!!!! YIPEEEE!!!
So, the reason I began to cry is because I do not know how I could have survived all this without Aaron. Sometimes I blame him, because he is the one who wanted one more. I think he was just afraid to get fixed:) And hoped maybe I'd have a section and then he would not have to get clipped. Those of you that know Aaron know I will never get an honest answer to that one. NO MATTER WHAT, God had a plan! My girls are amazing. I never thought I would say MY GIRLS!!! Never thought I would have a girl, let alone TWO OF THEM........ AT ONCE!!!! Oh my word!
But this past month Aaron has been home has been amazing. He is getting up each night for the middle of the night feeding. Sleeps till 9 or 10. I take the early morning feeding and sometimes go back to sleep until the boys get up. He has been tired, but not grumpy. We have gotten onto to each other, but who wouldn't in our situation. We really are doing so well... WE ARE THRIVING! Our marriage is strengthened. This is why I am tearing. He is taking such good care of his family!!! HE IS AN AMAZING DAD, FRIEND and HUSBAND!!! I am in love!!!!
P.S. The girls have officially grown out of some of their preemie clothing;)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Aaron and Sophia
Alex loving on sister Sabrina!
Daddy you have Sophia and I have Sabrina:)
Tyler is still with Grandma and Grandpa in Ashland, OR. He is having so much fun! Aaron and I also got good news recently. Social Security is going to take care of us for several years, because the girls were low-birth weight! We are truly blessed!!! So long as things stay as they are this will take care of their college and their weddings:)!!! This also means I will not need to go back to work, unless I choose to! Alex is loving his time with just us and the girls:) When they sleep we just spoil him rotten. He did spend last night with Kristi, one of my good friends here in OR. He loves her dearly and had a great time!!! Aaron and I ... SLEPT!!!!
It is 12:40 am and I just finished their feeding. Aaron usually does this one, but he needed rest so I did it tonight. Sophia was due to wake and eat, and I figured I had about 45 min before Sabrina wanted to eat. I WAS WRONG. They both wanted to eat the same time. I fed Sophia, who was due first, and let Sabrina cry. "LET" I had no choice. Then I fed Sabrina, and Sophia cried. So I ended up feeding them at the same time. then they both had to burp at the same time. I put one down and that one would cry. This went on for 45 min. Could not decide what to do. Diapers were changed, they were and burped. The binkies were being desired too much, meaning they were still hungry. As I warmed the bottle they both screamed... scaring the other causing more screaming. After their bottles were warm I fed them both while they laid in the crib. They both desperately fed. Sophia began to slow down, but she is a faster eater... Sabrina is consistent, but not as fast... THEN...
they both stopped. No more cries... I look at the bottle and they both drank the EXACT SAME AMOUNT!!! They were true twins this evening... doing everything at the same, with the same passion. Also, today they were napping separate and they were fussy! We put them together and they slept soundly. I BEST GO... THEY ARE CRYING/SCREAMING FOR MOMMY!!! For those of you who sleep... nite nite! For me... HAPPY DAY 24/7:)
A MOM OF HAPPY HEALTHY TWINS:) Pure Joy!!!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
"I DON'T WANT TO SHARE MY CHAIR!!!"
"Okay, if you give me my binkie , I won't mind!"
He does eat veggies;)!
We won't have pics of Ty for 1 week!!! He is with Grandma and Grandpa Cole in Southern Oregon, HAVING A BLAST, but we miss him BAD!!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Aaron and I are tired, but better tired than scared for our kids lives. They are sleeping great and neither Aaron or I are living in fear! We know God is in control. When we do get to sleep, we are resting well... just not many hours at once. After he goes back to work on the 22nd, I will prolly NEVER SLEEP!!! The second picture in the entry says a thousand words. If you have been keeping up with the blog you will know most of it. Each baby born in the NICU at St. V's is given a hand made quilt. The quilt on the left was in Sohpia's crib when she was first born. The one in the middle was Sabrina's. The one on the right was Sophia's second, after returning to St. V's. Each panda bear came from their trips to the ER, in the Panda Ambulance. The onesie was on Sabrina this last trip, it had to be cut off. I saved it and washed it and will keep it remind us all we have been through. I look at this pic and am brought to tears each time. It tells a whole story starting April 1st!!! All I have to say is... THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Let's see if the girls can be together for longer than 24 hours this time. We will do the happy dance at 1pm tomorrow if we are all still here!!!:) Here are a few pics of the hospital where Sabrina stayed. IT IS HUGE and it is a great hospital as well. I wasn't there as long to build the same relationships, but everyone was wonderful. I also want to say thank you to PANDA Ambulance from OHSU and the other one other ambulance companies, MetroWest Ambulance. This is the ambulance that saved Sabrina's life. They were here soooo fast and they transported just as quick. The Vancouver Fire Department was also. Many times Drs get all the credit, but without the paramedics, their lives would not have been sustained for the Drs to treat them. THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING US IN OUT TIME OF NEED!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Written by Holly Cole, the "Seasoned NICU Mom"... or so they call me at this hospital. They are impressed with what I know. This means they all have an easier job. It has been 11 weeks of teaching and learning! :) One Dr said I am for hire:) Anything is quotes is hospital talk. With all the stress and return trips, I figured I add some of my expertise:)
Sabrina is doing well. She is moving from the PICU to the pediatrics floor some time today. She is almost completely weened from oxygen and her "saturations are beautiful". "She is sating at 100%!" Her head ultrasound..."brain scan" came back good, and her "echocardiogram" ... detailed ultrasound of her heart looked good, but we will hear from the cardiologist today to find out for sure. One blood culture came back with "Gram positive Cocci" meaning staff infection (meaning bacterial), but they did a re-draw incase that was a "dirty draw". She is being treated with antibiotics. We all have bacteria on our skin, but not in our bodies (at least this type), this is why they are re-checking. CONSTANT HAND WASHING will prevent most of this, and it doesn't have to be anti-bacterial. Those nasty bugs are learning to live even with the anti-bacteria soaps. So, our home will be on lock down for the next few months. Not much I can do about keeping everything out... but we will try our best, without living in a bubble. All those people who mocked my parasite soap box.... WELL... NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY???
They told me preemies were more prone to sickness, and I didn't believe them to the degree I should have. Now you can NOT convince me otherwise. Nor can you convince me to change my thoughts on all the parasite stuff I have been reading and learning about. I will not live in fear, but I will live EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS without living in a bubble! So, this social butterfly, WILL NOT BE HAVING ANYONE OVER FOR A FEW MONTHS, especially if you have little ones. My family's health and priority. NOW.. knowing what a social butterfly I am, I will need phone calls and e-mails and im's to keep me in touch with "the outside world". You have all been so supportive and I do not know what we would have done without all your thoughts and prayers.
Please pray for all the other children also in NICUs and PICUs all over the world. There is not a sadder sight than to see some of the issues other families are having to deal with compared to ours. Ours is still stressful, but I know NOW Sabrina will be healthy and home soon.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
This morning Sabrina thought she also needed to go in the ambulance, like sister did. The ambulance gives the babies a bear, so maybe she was jealous and wanted one of her own. WELL NOW SHE HAS ONE TOO:) Aaron woke me with Sabrina in his arms, limp, hardly breathing with a tad bit of blood out of her mouth. We called 911 and they were here in minutes. Aaron rode with her to SW Medical, she had to be bagged the entire time. After getting to SW Medical they then transported her to OHSU. At first Drs thought is was gast/intestinal, but we are finding it is this bad virus that Sophia also had, just affecting Sabrina differently. We are not sure where the blood came from or why, we will find out later. X-rays showed there is no liquid in the lungs. They will be watching her over night. Then, we will find out more from there. Right now she is resting comfortable at OHSU PICU for a few days. Please pray she recovers well.